big-screen hard man on archery, po-going and Christmas on tape.
part of your new movie, Final Cut, is filmed on a camcorder. Do you
bore the crap out of relatives with your home movies?
Yeah, I've got a camcorder. I'm the only one in my family who's
never on tape because I'm always the one holding the camera. All you
can hear is me whistling. Every Christmas the kids can't come downstairs
to open their presents until the camera's been set. It's ridiculous.
I've got 17 Christmases on tape, all of them the same.
got two teenage daughters, Lois and Jaime. Are you the sort of dad who
gives prospective boyfriends a hard time?
No. My Lois has got a boyfriend at the moment: he's got an eyebrow
ring and he's into all that music. Every time he comes round I want
to scrub him and buy him a bar of soap. And Jaime has boys starting
to knock on our door. I'm like, "Yeah, what do you want?" They're terrified.
it true that you were thrown out of drama school?
Yeah. I sabotaged the headmistress's car. She was always having
a pop at me, so I put tacks under her tyres. I was asked to leave the
premises. The only thing I picked up at drama school was how to conduct
myself at parties: be first there and last to leave.
you also have to learn the gift of dance?
There were ballet classes and you had to get all this leotard gear
so you could learn movement. I just turned up with a pair of Doc Marten's.
I'm a terrible dancer, I'm like a lump of wood. The only thing I can
do is the pogo - where you jump and spit! I could never see the point
in getting yourself all done up, going out, then flogging yourself to
death dancing in a club. By the end of the night you're sweating your
nuts off trying to pull a girl, but chucking your guts up with these
huge sweat patches under your arms.
been in some really bad TV shows. What's the worst role you've ever
It was in this sci-fi programme, Space Precinct. I was out of work,
it was coming up to Christmas, and I got five grand to play this space
pirate. It was the most ridiculous show I'd ever worked on. These poor
bastards had to wear huge alien rubber masks all day long. You'd see
them start to wobble, then take bets on who'd faint first.
also played Will Scarlet in the TV series Robin of Sherwood. Are you
now a dab hand with a bow and arrow?
Yeah, I can shoot an arrow. Once we were in Rickmansworth doing
some publicity for the programme. They set up this camera 100 yards
away, next to an archery target. I told Mark Ryan - he played the Saracen,
Nasir - to aim for the camera because there was no way we were going
to hit it. I shot my arrow and it went straight down the lens and caused
70 grand's worth of damage. As it hit the camera I turned and went,
"Mark! What have you done?" It was quite a bloody show for teatime…
In the first episode I was only supposed to kill 12 Normans, but I ended
up killing 45. There were complaints that Will Scarlet was too violent.
were an amateur boxer in the East End, only losing eight of your 88
fights. But what was the worst pummelling you received?
The only time I really got hit was when I boxed against this southpaw
- a left-hander. I kept walking into his fist. I couldn't work out how
he kept hitting me. But I never got as much as broken nose. My whole
thing was, if they don't hit you and you hit them once, you've won the
you went from boxing to acting, did all your friends think you'd gone
No! I just didn't want to be a fighter. Anyway, boxing is similar
to acting - you're still in front of a crowd. The only difference is
that if you do something wrong in boxing you get punched, while if you
do something wrong on stage you get booed. I preferred to get booed.